I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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