i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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