he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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