weddingsv make me drug and hornr
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
