Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
