And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
