When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My vagina is officially offended.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
