If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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