she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
