Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
