So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
