what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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