Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
