Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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