She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize