Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
