you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize