I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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