Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
