Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
