he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
