The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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