hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Randomize
