Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
