My nipple is on Facebook.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
