I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
