My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
