YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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