Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
