her vagine was all disorganized.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
