another moral hangover. fuck.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
false alarm. still invincible.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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