The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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