We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize