mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
