apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize
