I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
