Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
