For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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