I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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