i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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