Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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