and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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