How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
