Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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