brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
