I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
