Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
