please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
