can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
