Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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