Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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