super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
