Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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