just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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