YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
