I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
