Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
