Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
