tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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