Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
