and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
