similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
