If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
