oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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