saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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