If i come over, it means nothing
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I have fence marks all over my body
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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