How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
