i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
You smell like stripper and shame
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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