I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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