he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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