apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
