She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
