I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
