At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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