I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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