idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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